I’m doing everything out of order today. My morning was disrupted by the apparent theft of my DOORMAT—a crime so retarded that I can scarcely believe it still. However, as doormats go, it was relatively stylish, and I had just bought it maybe a week ago. What’s even more bizarre is that this appears to have been planned. A couple of days ago, when M left for work, we saw that the doormat had been upturned. In the current context, I gather that someone was attempting to take the doormat and was interrupted by someone leaving their apartment. So they came back 2 days later to finish the dastardly deed.