Tag: writing

Should I Be Angry About Second Place?

I have to admit that I thought I had this one in the bag. Perhaps things have been going too well for me, and I needed a humbling experience.

You may remember that in January, I submitted my short story “The Librarians” to a web site’s monthly fiction contest. It’s not an especially well-known or well-traveled web site, and by virtue of the fact that my story got ten times the votes that other stories got, I thought I was a shoo-in. But alas, the stories are not judged on votes alone. Whoever the final judges were, they obviously thought that this story was better than mine. And there’s nothing wrong with that story–it’s a fine story.

Second place is nothing to sneeze at (though the way I’m feeling today, I’m likely to projectile-cough flegm at it). I have a long history of coming in second place at things, and it’s a sore spot for me.

Anyway, c’est la vie. If you haven’t read “the Librarians” yet, check it out. The story will be on that site indefinitely.

New Work: “The Year of Myself” in Kora Journal

Poet Zachary C. Bush started an online literary magazine earlier this year, Kora Journal. The focus is primarily on quality experimental poetry, prose poetry, and flash fiction.

The second issue, which went online today, features my newest story, “The Year of Myself.” This issue also has new work from JA Tyler, Eric Beeny, Louis E. Bourgeois, and Howie Good–all of whom are excellent writers.

Also, in case you missed it in an earlier post, you can see a video of me reading an early draft of “The Year of Myself” here.

How to Make Breakfast If You Are a Space Alien

Things have gotten desperate enough around here that I applied for a tech writing job (though how I love saying I USED TO BE a technical writer–oy vey).

They asked me to take a brief (and very silly) writing test. I had 30 minutes to do it. The test is pasted below.

***

Please write a procedure documenting making breakfast.

The menu is up to you but must contain several items, one of which must be cooked (e.g.: bacon and eggs or a toasted bagel with a fresh grapefruit.)

Don’t forget a beverage.

Don’t forget necessary ingredients and tools.

Your target audience is a complete novice to breakfast. The reader does not know how to make breakfast, or why either. It helps me to think of the audience as an alien visiting Earth. They nourish themselves with a daily pill. Now, they want to take on human form and human customs.

You have 30 minutes. Good Luck!

Breakfast is a meal you should consume in the morning to provide yourself with the nourishment necessary for the first part of the day. In fact, it is often said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day because of its ability to influence your mood and energy level throughout the day. The following instructions will provide you with the steps necessary to make a healthy breakfast, including:

· Coffee

· Juice

· Eggs

· Toast

Coffee

The first step to making breakfast is to begin making the coffee because it takes the longest. Coffee is a stimulant and helps your body and brain to perk up after a night’s sleep. You will need:

· Coffee beans

· Coffee grinder

· French press coffee maker

· Table spoon

· Water kettle

· Water (from the kitchen sink is fine, but you can also use bottled water)

· Stove

· Coffee mug

Use the following steps to make the coffee:

1. Fill the kettle about 3/4 full with water.

2. Turn on one of the burners on the stove using the instructions that came with the appliance (different models may vary). The flame should be medium to high.

3. Place the kettle on the burner.

4. Place 5–6 spoonfuls of coffee beans into the grinder and grind them until a rough powder is created (again, models may vary, so follow the instructions for your coffee grinder).
Remove the lid of the French press.

5. Transfer the ground beans into the French press.

6. When the water in the kettle is boiling, the kettle will make a whistling sound. When this happens, turn off the stove burner.

7. Pour water from the kettle into the French press (be careful; it is very hot) until the carafe is about 3/4 full.

8. Stir the mixture of water and grounds with the spoon.

9. Replace the top of the French press, and wait several minutes (in the meantime, you can begin making the other breakfast items)

10. Slowly press down on the handle of the French press until it resists.

11. Make sure the slots on the French press lid are parallel with the lip of the carafe.

12. Pour coffee in the coffee mug.

Eggs
Eggs are a good source of protein, an important nutrient. You will need:

· Two chicken eggs

· 2 tablespoons of butter

· Frying pan

· Stove

· Spatula

· Plate

Use the following steps to prepare the eggs:

1. Turn on one of the burners on the stove using the instructions that came with the appliance (different models may vary). The flame should be low to medium.

2. Place the frying pan on the burner.

3. Place the butter in the frying pan. As it melts, use the spatula to spread it evenly around the pan.

4. Carefully crack each egg, letting the contents spill into the frying pan (be careful not to let any pieces of the shell fall into the pan).

5. Discard the shells.

6. When the white part of the eggs are solid, scoop them up with the spatula and place them on the plate.

7. Turn off the burner.

Toast

Toast is a good source of carbohydrates, an important nutrient. You will need:

· Two pieces of bread

· Toaster

Use the following steps to prepare the toast:

1. Make sure the toaster is plugged into an electrical socket.

2. Place each piece of bread into one of the slots on top of the toaster.

3. Press down the lever.

4. When the toast is ready, it will pop up. Carefully remove the slices of bread and place them on the plate next to your eggs.

Orange Juice

Orange juice is a good source of sugar and Vitamin C, important nutrients. You will need:

· Carton of juice

· Glass

Use the following steps to prepare the juice:

· Shake the juice carton

· Open the carton using the instructions on the side

· Fill the glass with juice.

Enjoy the breakfast. As you become more accustomed to making breakfast, you can try more complex variations on these simple instructions. For example, you can:

· Place the eggs between the two pieces of toast and eat both items as a unit (known as a “sandwich”)

· Spread butter, jelly, or honey on the toast to improve the flavor

· Put sugar or milk in the coffee to improve the flavor

· Cook the eggs for a shorter or longer amount of time

So What About That Cantarabooks Situation

See here, here, here, and here for background.

It’s been over a month since my last post on this topic, and several people have asked me if there are any updates. The short answer is: no.

Cantara did send a message out to her mailing list yesterday with links to my blog posts and her own summary of the situation so far, but the upshot is that she STILL doesn’t have control of her bank accounts and STILL doesn’t even know what John Gill is suing her about. That all seems odd because I would think that the lawsuit should be available as a public record, but I can only take her at her word on that.

Cantara does have a lawyer working on the case, but no concrete results to speak of yet.

UPDATE: This just in from Cantara:

<!– /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:PMingLiU; panose-1:2 2 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-alt:新細明體; mso-font-charset:136; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611969 684719354 22 0 1048577 0;} @font-face {font-family:”Cambria Math”; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:”\@PMingLiU”; panose-1:2 2 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:136; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611969 684719354 22 0 1048577 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:””; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”,”serif”; mso-fareast-font-family:PMingLiU; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:PMingLiU; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} –>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
Dear Comrade-in-Letters –

A small step, but a step nonetheless.

Our lawyer advised Mr. Gill’s attorney of the fact that Michael and I have been living in California since 2007 and she’s requested a copy of our lease to back this up – not a problem. (To show why we didn’t receive the Summons and Complaint at our old residence in Woodside last year.)

She was also informed that a copy of the Summons and Complaint was TAPED to the door of our mailing address at 204 E 11th Street in the East Village. Those of you who live in NYC might picture that and understand why we never received it, either.

Her letters to WAMU on our behalf have been redirected to another WAMU address. Copies of her letters going to Gill’s attorney are also being sent to this WAMU address… So it looks like we’re starting a case file there as well. Hope it doesn’t get too thick.

Once the entire batch of affidavits, document copies, etc, is complete, it’ll be sent to Gill’s lawyer, the court, and WAMU.

And AFTER THAT – we’ll probably still have to answer the original complaint. Will keep you posted.

– Cantara

So What About That Cantarabooks Situation

Reposted from my Billy Wayne Carter blog.

See here, here, here, and here for background.

It’s been over a month since my last post on this topic, and several people have asked me if there are any updates. The short answer is: no.

Cantara did send a message out to her mailing list yesterday with links to my blog posts and her own summary of the situation so far, but the upshot is that she STILL doesn’t have control of her bank accounts and STILL doesn’t even know what John Gill is suing her about. That all seems odd because I would think that the lawsuit should be available as a public record, but I can only take her at her word on that.

Cantara does have a lawyer working on the case, but no concrete results to speak of yet.

UPDATE: This just in from Cantara:

Dear Comrade-in-Letters –

A small step, but a step nonetheless.

Our lawyer advised Mr. Gill’s attorney of the fact that Michael and I have been living in California since 2007 and she’s requested a copy of our lease to back this up – not a problem. (To show why we didn’t receive the Summons and Complaint at our old residence in Woodside last year.)

She was also informed that a copy of the Summons and Complaint was TAPED to the door of our mailing address at 204 E 11th Street in the East Village. Those of you who live in NYC might picture that and understand why we never received it, either.

Her letters to WAMU on our behalf have been redirected to another WAMU address. Copies of her letters going to Gill’s attorney are also being sent to this WAMU address… So it looks like we’re starting a case file there as well. Hope it doesn’t get too thick.

Once the entire batch of affidavits, document copies, etc, is complete, it’ll be sent to Gill’s lawyer, the court, and WAMU.

And AFTER THAT – we’ll probably still have to answer the original complaint. Will keep you posted.

– Cantara

Uzi’s Open

I attended Amy Uzi’s open mic last night at Tribes Gallery in the East Village (every Thursday at 8–cover charge is by donation). It was an interesting mix of the usual art star open mic crowd and some poets, some of whom were actually pretty good. I read a new short story. I took this video on my blackberry.

Then I had time leftover, so I sat at the piano and fumbled my way through one of my songs. If you listen carefully, you can hear Brer Brian playing guitar and singing from the audience.

Another Update from Cantara

Though it’s still not clear exactly what’s going on, my publisher Cantara Christopher has sent me a couple of updates that she asked me to repost here. One development is that she has retained a New York lawyer, so she should soon have more of a handle on what the actual lawsuit is about and hopefully will have access to her bank accounts again. Here’s the latest message I got from her. Most of what’s new info here is just further evidence of Gill’s general fishiness.

One of our authors just sent me PDF attachments of documents related to North Eagle Corporation. North Eagle, you’ll recall, is the non-profit organization which publishes the North Atlantic Review, a literary annual. President of North Eagle and publisher of the Review is John Edward Gill, a former author of Cantarabooks, who I learned two weeks ago managed to illegally seize not only my company’s bank account but my personal joint checking account and the personal checking sole account of Cantarabooks’ editor, Michael, who is my domestic partner but is in absolutely no way an officer, investor or employee of my company.

– Annual Financial Report of a Charitable Organization (for 2006 and 2007)
– Short Form Return of an Organization Exempt from Income Tax (for 2006)

I read the documents and recognized the name of the accountant. This is the accountant Gill offered to pay to do the taxes for Cantarabooks. He even offered to put Michael and me up in a fancy hotel in Stony Brook while the accountant worked on them. After about a month he dropped that idea. Never found out why.
 
The reports and return show not much activity, not much expenditure.

Gill is listed as a professor of English at Suffolk Community College. Community college instructors are not known to make a lot of money – yet Gill’s home address is in an upper-class area of Stony Brook.

His home address is also listed as the address for North Eagle Corporation and his other nonprofit, Children’s Rights of New York, Inc.

When I started my business John urged me to apply for nonprofit status and seemed mightily disappointed when I didn’t. I had absolutely no desire to apply for nonprofit status for Cantarabooks. I wonder how he would have tried to get his hooks into my company had I gone the 501(c)3 route.

Because we were never at any point served papers informing us of a judgment or even a lawsuit, I spent a frustrating two weeks trying to understand Gill’s complaint toward me. Was it defamation, for example, or did he think I failed to fulfill my part of his book contract?

But another one of our authors gave me some good advice. He said, “Follow the money.” Because what it came down to, simply, is that Gill is on the swindling side of the business world and I was the most available mark. It had nothing to do with a breach in good faith and absolutely nothing to do with literature.

It shocks me to realize that one of my other authors, Stephen Gyllenhaal, was also being sized up by Gill, who asked me at one time, point-blank, if “Stephen would be interested in putting money in my [meaning Gill’s] company”.

Another near-mark, I’m sickened to realize, is a writer acquaintance, mutual to Gill and me who lives in Greenwich. When her husband died two years ago he came calling with flowers, invitations to dinner, offers to make her paid senior editor of the North Atlantic Review… This woman is a rather gentle character and not given to think the worst of people – but when Gill came around so soon after her husband’s death she was appalled and sent him away.
 
How I got to meet Gill was through the CLMP and the Small Press Center (now the New York Center for Independent Publishing), but at this time neither organization wants to touch this story with a ten-foot pole, which is understandable.
 
How Stephen got mixed up in all this is that he employed a well-known, well-respected writer’s service in New Jersey to send around his work, and North Atlantic Review was on their list of publications. There’s been no comment from them either.

Incidentally, by a strange coincidence, right before Michael and I went down to LA I got a hold of the first chapters of Clifford Irving’s new unpublished novel and struck up an acquaintance with him. He phoned me while we were having lunch with one of our authors so I owe Clifford a call back. Maybe I’ll email him about this whole thing, see what he says, if anything.

– Cantara

Another Update from Cantara

[reposted from my Billy Wayne Carter blog]

Though it’s still not clear exactly what’s going on, my publisher Cantara Christopher has sent me a couple of updates that she asked me to repost here. One development is that she has retained a New York lawyer, so she should soon have more of a handle on what the actual lawsuit is about and hopefully will have access to her bank accounts again. Here’s the latest message I got from her. Most of what’s new info here is just further evidence of Gill’s general fishiness.

One of our authors just sent me PDF attachments of documents related to North Eagle Corporation. North Eagle, you’ll recall, is the non-profit organization which publishes the North Atlantic Review, a literary annual. President of North Eagle and publisher of the Review is John Edward Gill, a former author of Cantarabooks, who I learned two weeks ago managed to illegally seize not only my company’s bank account but my personal joint checking account and the personal checking sole account of Cantarabooks’ editor, Michael, who is my domestic partner but is in absolutely no way an officer, investor or employee of my company.

– Annual Financial Report of a Charitable Organization (for 2006 and 2007)
– Short Form Return of an Organization Exempt from Income Tax (for 2006)

I read the documents and recognized the name of the accountant. This is the accountant Gill offered to pay to do the taxes for Cantarabooks. He even offered to put Michael and me up in a fancy hotel in Stony Brook while the accountant worked on them. After about a month he dropped that idea. Never found out why.
 
The reports and return show not much activity, not much expenditure.

Gill is listed as a professor of English at Suffolk Community College. Community college instructors are not known to make a lot of money – yet Gill’s home address is in an upper-class area of Stony Brook.

His home address is also listed as the address for North Eagle Corporation and his other nonprofit, Children’s Rights of New York, Inc.

When I started my business John urged me to apply for nonprofit status and seemed mightily disappointed when I didn’t. I had absolutely no desire to apply for nonprofit status for Cantarabooks. I wonder how he would have tried to get his hooks into my company had I gone the 501(c)3 route.

Because we were never at any point served papers informing us of a judgment or even a lawsuit, I spent a frustrating two weeks trying to understand Gill’s complaint toward me. Was it defamation, for example, or did he think I failed to fulfill my part of his book contract?

But another one of our authors gave me some good advice. He said, “Follow the money.” Because what it came down to, simply, is that Gill is on the swindling side of the business world and I was the most available mark. It had nothing to do with a breach in good faith and absolutely nothing to do with literature.

It shocks me to realize that one of my other authors, Stephen Gyllenhaal, was also being sized up by Gill, who asked me at one time, point-blank, if “Stephen would be interested in putting money in my [meaning Gill’s] company”.

Another near-mark, I’m sickened to realize, is a writer acquaintance, mutual to Gill and me who lives in Greenwich. When her husband died two years ago he came calling with flowers, invitations to dinner, offers to make her paid senior editor of the North Atlantic Review… This woman is a rather gentle character and not given to think the worst of people – but when Gill came around so soon after her husband’s death she was appalled and sent him away.
 
How I got to meet Gill was through the CLMP and the Small Press Center (now the New York Center for Independent Publishing), but at this time neither organization wants to touch this story with a ten-foot pole, which is understandable.
 
How Stephen got mixed up in all this is that he employed a well-known, well-respected writer’s service in New Jersey to send around his work, and North Atlantic Review was on their list of publications. There’s been no comment from them either.

Incidentally, by a strange coincidence, right before Michael and I went down to LA I got a hold of the first chapters of Clifford Irving’s new unpublished novel and struck up an acquaintance with him. He phoned me while we were having lunch with one of our authors so I owe Clifford a call back. Maybe I’ll email him about this whole thing, see what he says, if anything.

– Cantara