I’m very depressed today, but I’ve found that whenever I look under the depression or the anger, it’s really about fear. The fear I’m feeling is largely about my creative life, as it almost always is. I’m afraid that I’m really not good enough, that I’ll never produce anything really worthwhile. In a more general sense, it’s a fear that I’ll never DO anything really worthwhile, that everything is basically pointless. It’s a standard, run of the mill, existential crisis, and to be honest, that realization is a little disappointing.
Published by mdavidhornbuckle
M. David Hornbuckle is the author of the novel The Fireball Brothers, which will be published by Livingston Press in April 2019. It is his third book. He is also a musician and songwriter, as well as the founding editor of the literary magazine Steel Toe Review. He lives in Birmingham, Alabama. View all posts by mdavidhornbuckle