In a recent email, E called me a “poltergeist,” and I’ve increasingly grown fond of this image of myself, although she meant it as an insult.
Author: mdavidhornbuckle
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The Foundation
I barely slept at all last night, and when I did I had crazy dreams about my job and about Matthew McConaughy (sp?), who was on SNL the other night. I was working on a CD-ROM about scheduling appointments, and I dreamed that it was narrated by a stoner/surfer type played by McConaughy. It wasn’t so much a dream as a vision. I had visions all night. Very specific utopian visions about how the world would be different if I were president of Amerika. And I had detailed retro-fantasies about writing in a journal as a teenager about how the Stock Market was the ruination of Amerika, but that I would exploit its inherent absurdities to make a lot of money because in this culture money=power, and I needed power in order for my ideas to be heard. And I did make lots of money in the stock market, and I did get lots of power. And I slowly moved up the ranks of career politicians, never taking a salary, donating most of my income to my Foundation, which was an umbrella for thousands of non-profit organizations I had started, many of which were artists’ communes, but also organizations to help re-organize failing schools and failing neighborhoods. And I had a lot of real estate. And mainly, I had a think tank, a Democratic Socialist think tank of which I was the head. It was like I was a benevolent version of Dick Cheney or something. In the end, I spent nearly two hours talking to Rev. Al Sharpton about slavery reparations, and he and I were sitting down together to do the math, to decide how much each person should get, how it would be split up, where the money would come from.
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Artist and Artisan, part 2
I sent parts of Wednesday’s entry out to a few friends to spark discussion, and I got some interesting responses. Mainly, that not every artist is a good artist, which is an obvious point, and so artistry vs. artisanship is a gradient that ebbs and flows over an individual’s career. That’s certainly true.
The tension I felt as I listened to this conversation while waiting to see Lionel Richie was that, if I volunteered the information that I was a “musician” or “songwriter” or even a fan of “music,” I still didn’t think that I would in any way have much in common with these people. Or that I would be able to communicate the relationship of what I find interesting about music with what they find interesting about music. Or the difference between what I find interesting about music and what I am passionate about with regard to music. And I thought that was strange as well as kind of frustrating.
We all agreed, basically, that these “mainstream music fans” that exist out in the world are baffling.
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I’m an Artist and You’re an Artisan
I had an odd adventure yesterday that caused me to reflect on many things. My mother’s birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I happened to hear that Lionel Richie was signing copies of his new greatest hits CD. It’s just the kind of somewhat cheesy pop that seems to appeal to her, and a signed copy of the CD would be a funny gift. So I went down to 66th Street and stood in line in the freezing cold for two hours to get it, and ultimately I was successful in my mission.
While I was standing in line, I was surrounded by four men who were obviously real Lionel Richie fans. They started talking about the Commodores in relation to various funk groups and Motown acts, and at first I thought they were specialists with an interest in American R&B of the 60s and 70s. But I soon realized that they were all rabid followers of virtually any kind of mainstream music, and they had detailed knowledge about all kinds of “artists” from P Diddy to Led Zeppelin to Prince to Kiss to Jay Z. It was really remarkable to follow their ecstatic discussion, but I barely said a word the whole time. Honestly, I didn’t know a lot of the people they talked about. When they hit on something I could agree with, I would pipe in an acknowledgement, but mostly I just nodded my head and kept my opinions to myself.
It made me think about the interesting juxtaposition of “artist” and “artisan” that exists in popular music, the blurring of which I suspect is a foregone conclusion of market capitalism. This is a dichotomy that I think about frequently, and I’ve imbedded some of my more cynical thoughts on the idea into one of my books. It can be summarized as follows.
The artisan creates things with intended use. This sometimes involves impressive skill and creativity, and these four men that I met were keen observers of artisanship in the music industry, which can include any or all aspects of composition, arrangement, production, mastery of an instrument, dancing ability, packaging, and marketing. There may be other elements that come into play, but off the top of my head, I think this sums up 99% of the industry.
Artists, on the other hand, create things that are likely to have no use. They create because they are compelled to create, and they don’t have anything to gain from it. Both the industry and consumers of the industry frequently and willingly blur the lines between these two. Many become impassioned about artisanship, and dupe themselves into believing its art. To make things more confusing, once in a great while, a true artist stumbles into the music industry and is able to combine the two roles effectively. Also, like most apparent dichotomies, I don’t know that there’s always a hard line that you can draw between the two.
However, an inevitable cycle of entropy occurs in the music industry as a direct result of market capitalism. Artists, who don’t necessarily have the polish to gain mass appeal, are increasingly ignored by the industry in favor of safer investments. More and more the artisan skills that require the most energetic study — composition, arrangement and musicianship — are also ignored in favor packaging and production, which are easier. That’s why every generation says they don’t write songs like they used to. They really don’t. And those that do can’t get a break because the industry doesn’t need them to sell records.
What would be a more ideal situation? I don’t know. I’ve been trying to turn it around theoretically in my mind. As things stand, there are already an overwhelming number of potential artists. So a big part of the puzzle is how to separate the best interests of the corporate music industry from the best interests of the artists and also the best interests of the potential music audience. If you remove the idea of profit, how do you decide who gets to make “being an artist” their life’s work and get them the materials and freedom they need to do their work?
Maybe the best we can hope for is that good artists somehow latch onto a strong underground current just below the radar of the industry, and at times we seem to have that. But in many ways an alternative or “indie” market is a specialized microcosm of the industry as a whole and shares many of the problems.
Even in my most extreme fantasy of a regenerated, totally socialized entertainment system, it’s hard to imagine exactly how that would improve the end result, unless of course, I alone am allowed to be the supreme dictator of taste. It’s really not so much a matter of changing the public’s taste as it’s a matter of calling things what they really are.
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Vocabulary
I feel like I’ve lost my vocabulary. I can’t remember words. I have a glimmer of an idea of the word I’m looking for, and I search frantically through the thesaurus trying to jar my memory. I’m shocked at how many words I’ve come across in my casual reading that I don’t recognize. Granted, my casual reading frequently includes some of the most verbose authors in the English language, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
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Exercise: Write Something That Sucks
In dark repose, Vac bathes in a shower of shirttails. I’m awakened from my sofa-slumber by a muted coughing sound, almost mechanical. A thin cloud of dust escapes from under the closet door. From my supine position on the futon, I wait to see if the phenomenon repeats itself before I investigate further. I think I hear laughing, a sort of muffled mechanical giggle coming from the hallway.
Something is afoot. Vac apparently doesn’t know I am home, or doesn’t care. There is a familiar whir and bang. The closet door bursts open, and the Vac comes flying out, blindly ramming furniture, knocking over vases and lamps. It smashes the television and a computer monitor, all the while sucking up any small particles it finds in its path.
If Vac had hands, he would be wringing them to punctuate its hunched-over evil grin. Nature abhors a vacuum, but I did not know that the vacuum returned the spite with such vengeance. Suddenly, I understand why the cats are afraid.
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Query
I wrote a query letter to a Canadian publisher yesterday and took the opportunity to revise my summary of the book. I found myself making things up that I haven’t written, that aren’t in the book, at least not yet. This always happens, every time I try to explain the book to somebody, I end up making up things that I later go back and put into the book.
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My Characters Are Not Your Friends
Perhaps they are acquaintances. They’re people you see on the street and don’t want to talk to, but they talk to you, and you come away a little fascinated. They’re people you work with and once in a while lunch with, but you know they are hiding something from you. They sometimes tell you creepy things about themselves that you didn’t really want to know.
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Things I Didn’t Do Today
Crossword puzzles
Sit-ups
Watch television
Read
Eat supper
Eat snacks
Ride the subway
Vacuum
Play music
Listen to music
Contact booking agents
Work on any novels, short stories, poems or songs I’ve started
Yell at anyone
Punch anyone
Dance
Sing
Celebrate
Masturbate
Kill myself -
Shadows
The fictional characters I’ve invented over the years, particularly ones in “the book,” are like strange shadows that I see in a moment of near hallucination from alcohol or lack of sleep. Then in more manic moments, after too much coffee, I start to think I understand something about them. I have visions of them when I shower or when I am drifting off to sleep. They are more than complex puppets, although they are that also.
Perhaps one goal of the story is to combine these ephemera in such a way as to create the illusion of some kind of whole.